yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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