highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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