i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
