What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
