did you get engaged???
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
