You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
