He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
