I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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