Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I want a musical about memes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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