i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
