she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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