guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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