My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
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