Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
