omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Do vagina's smell?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
he just fucked me for my cheese..
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
