R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
