I've blown a few things in my day
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
