New low: just hacked my moms facebook
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
