Sponge bath it is.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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