But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
