Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
