i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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