there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
