If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Two words: blizzard sex
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