Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
