Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
