The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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