We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
