Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
