Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
