okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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