I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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