I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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