the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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