More tranny stories later!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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