If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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