My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
