help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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