she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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