We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
