Its about making memories worth repressing
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
