I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
