yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
