i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
