im drinking this country out of the recession.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
