Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
