There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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