You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
