Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
