Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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