she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
