oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
