Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
