I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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