I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
