It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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