i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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